and I am very happy to be! Let me just start by saying that! :)
It isn't an easy 'job' though! There are a lot of things that go along with being a ministers wife ... a lot of blessings and some difficult stuff as well. The blessings most definitely outweigh the difficult stuff.
But for today... I just need to rant a little bit. And here's why... for the sake of ranting!
I got a little feisty (as my husband likes to say) yesterday when my husband asked me to make sure and just leave well enough alone about a certain issue. My opinion about what he asked was... I had already made that decision on my own... without any help from him. My opinion was also that I had being doing this 'ministers wife' thing for 14 years now so I think I got it!!
You see... people in the 'outside' world or congregation... can go around and tell their stories or say whatever they want. And their stories usually sound good and most times have some truth to them. However... they are still only one sided.
A minister.... a good minister... doesn't engage in personal attacks or even feel the need to set the record straight on what has really happened. They are more disciplined and have a sense of something bigger than themselves. They try to keep the peace and mend relationships. Which is what we should all strive for!
Being a ministers wife is the same. There are things that I know and want to comment on. There are people that I want to have a talk with... that I can't! It can be frustrating! Because sometimes people are just not nice to my husband! My husband is not perfect... by any means... but he is sure expected to be! I think if everyone would take a look at themselves in the same way they take a look and tear apart someone else.... they wouldn't have the heart to tear apart someone else due to what they see in themselves!
I feel I have come a long way as a person and in my relationship/understanding of God and what life is all about. Do I think I know everything? Absolutely not!! I do however... find joy... in where I am... all the while longing to be even farther along! Sometimes I find myself being a little self righteous and I don't like that. It is really a hard line to walk. Some things are just so stupid to me! So many things actually... that we ALL (including myself) care about in this life. Anyway... that is a whole different blog post so I will stop there. :)
I had this silly assumption in my head that everyone ... or most everyone... would be working towards making themselves a better person.... constantly! The sad truth that I have found... is that a lot of people are not. Either they think they are just fine the way they are... or they are too scared to look at themselves too hard. I always say that no one can be as hard on me as I am myself. I have spent a lot of time in a mild depression over the realities of who I am/were. It is not an easy thing to do. I say a lot of times that I am fat... etc. etc. But I am not really hard on myself about that. I am hard on myself about the things that really matter... the heart things... not the how I look (although I need to care a little more than I do. LOL). It is just really surprising to me... the older I get... that there seems to be so many people perfectly content with who they are. I don't ever want to be content with the person I am. I will never be perfect.... but I want to be as close as I can be because I want to do that for Jesus. He did so much for me! I want to get it!! I want to understand!! I want to feel it! I want to live it! I want to show it!
Okay... back on track... There are a lot of things/topics that I would love to discuss/share my thoughts on... on my own blog. But... the ministers wife thing keeps me from doing so most times. I don't know why. I mean... I take great pride and strive to be the same person everywhere I am. If I am angry... I can't hide it. I am going to let you know that I am angry and I will apologize for not being a lot of fun to be around. I am who I am so I will most likely tell you whatever I think... as long as it isn't one of those church things that I can't. I might as well blog about them, right? So.... here is my first one! It is just a bunch of random thoughts that I needed to get out there! :) Maybe something I said will help someone with something! :) If nothing else... maybe it will help you take what you hear about a minister or a ministry with a grain of salt and not assume that it is truth because you didn't hear the other side. :) Or maybe it will help you remember to say a prayer for your pastors wife! :)
Peace and Love!!