Friday, May 22, 2009

Little Man

Our little Carver man has been a sick boy the past two days! Carver has been running a fever up to 104.5 degrees since yesterday morning. I called the doctors office today and spoke with a nurse. After speaking with her, we decided we would wait until tomorrow morning to take him in if his temp hadn't gone down some. Carver has had several different virus related temperatures lasting 4 or 5 days lately so I have been a little less panicked about this one. However... our wonderful pediatrician and friend came by tonight to check on him. Dr. Bill discovered that Carver may have strep throat. The throat looks like strep but he didn't have a strep test with him to know for sure. Dr. Bill called in some antibiotics and we were able to get a dose in him before bedtime.

We don't like it when our baby is sick!! I can't imagine how parents feel when they have really sick children. I thank God everyday for his health and pray that he will continue to be a healthy boy. Thinking about all the bad things that could be... is torture. Being a parent is the best thing in the world but also the worst. I hurt more over things that could happen than I ever thought I would. I never knew how to love so much it hurt... until I held him in my arms!

This little boy has taught me so much. I get so hurt when Carver doesn't have time for me or doesn't want to love on me. I know he is going to hurt me over and over and over his entire life. Not that he will do it intentionally but.... that is just part of it. One day he won't need his mommy like he does now. I can't tell you the number of times in the past two years that I have thought.. wow... this is how God feels. This is what I do to Him everyday. God loves me more than I could ever love Carver. How disappointed He must be in me. How hurt He must be that I don't take time to spend with Him like I should. He gave His precious Son for me... what do I give Him in return? How He must want and need my love and affection and how hurt He must be when I don't give it to Him.

Wow... this is not where this post was intended to go but... it is what is on my heart right now so... there ya go!

One more thing... words/actions cannot describe how thankful I am to have a friend/pediatrician who cares enough about my son and our family to come see us (without us asking) after a long Friday at work. I love people who love my child! They are my favorite people in the world and will always mean more to me than most others.
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Cindi said...

Your blog here is something that just hit home with me, Kelley. I was just praying to God recently and said "God, how can I get my son to be loving towards me, stop disrespecting me, stop being selfish and self-centered and realize that what I'm trying to teach him is for his own good, but yet he rolls his eyes and ignores me and treats me like I'm nothing and as if I'm not even there. What can I do God to get through to him and focus him on my way of seeing things?" God said, "Well...when you find out, let me know. I've got a child named, Cindi, who I'm having the same problems with." Ouch....

Kelley Eubanks said...

Well... I am glad I am not the only one who gets slapped in the face from time to time. Not as often as I need to be I am sure! :-) Love you!