I love you all.... do you know that? I really do!
I have a real peace for the first time in this life changing few days! I went for my CT Scan this morning and we called a little while ago for the results. From the tests... it looks as if the cancer has not spread. It seems to be contained at the moment to my cervix. Due to the kind of cancer it is (rare), the surgery for a radical hysterectomy is still on for Monday.
After hearing this news and talking to the wonderful nurse, I can't help but have a peace! I know so many people have been praying for me/us. These are other things that I know......
The 'catch' of this cancer in my body is a total surprise to the oncologist and his staff. Apparently my irregular pap was just slighty irregular. The standard procedure for many gynos would be to say... hey, you guys have a great holiday season and how about you come back in Feb. and we will do another pap. There were no signs on my irregular pap of cancer. If the standard procedure had been done... this would have given my type of cancer plenty of opportunity to grow and spread. Instead my doctor immediately did a biopsy just to be safe! Have I said that I love him? :) I always have but man... I basically feel like he has saved my life or at least... done his part to try to!
My gyno started to refer me to another oncologist but said... hey... you know what.... I am going to send you to Dr. Dudley instead. I know why he had a change of heart.... God wanted me to be with Dr. Dudley. We have heard nothing but great great things about this man! His nurses sing his praises and everyone... everyone we have had contact with the past two days at the hospital have done nothing but sing his praises. Dr. Dudley's nurse told us that it is nothing for him to use his lunch time to go to the chapel and pray for his patient(s) and come back eating a banana that he picked up before starting to work again! I feel strongly that God wants this man to take care of me!
It is amazing that one day after learning of the cancer... I was in the oncologists office making plans and having tests. There was a cancellation yesterday that allowed me to come on in and be seen. The nurse has said several times over the past two days that 'someone' wanted this to go quickly for me! She and I both know who that 'Someone' is! She told Michael today that I had angels watching over me!
I think I already told you but as a favor to Dr. Dudley... the people who ran the tests for me stayed around an hour and a half later to see me. If they hadn't... I would have had to wait until Monday right before surgery to find out if it looks to have spread, etc! In my fragile condition... I don't know how I would have made it until then.
I am not a patient person and my nerves have been so torn up that I throw up and can't sleep! God knew that and I believe that He provided answers and hopefully a permanent solution in an unbelievable speedy fashion.
Knowing all of this.... I can't help but have a peace that I am going to be okay! God is moving in a mighty way to protect me right now! I am so unworthy of His love and grace but I am soooo thankful to have it!
I am also so thankful to have all of you! It is overwhelming to know that sooo many people care about you and love you and pray for you! I will never ever ever be able to express my gratitude appropriately! I just weep because I can just feel it! I can feel the love and the prayers and I am just so blessed!
Please continue to pray for me and for our family! My surgery is Monday and I will be in the hospital for 3 or 4 days and then I will have a 6 week recovery! Hopefully it won't take me that long though to get back in my craft room! :) However.... when i do.... things will be different. I pray that they are different! My life has totally changed forever and I pray that I will come out a better person because of it... a more focused person on the things that really matter and on the only ONE who really matters!
I love you all!