I have so much to do or that I feel like I have to get done before Sunday! All that I can concentrate on right now is just getting my feelings out so... that is what I am going to do first!
Yesterday was a great day! Today has been a great day with one small breakdown over dinner! :) I don't even know really what I want to say. I just need to talk so thanks for listening and for caring!
I have faith that God is taking care of me and that I am going to be fine! I do, however, seem to let the devil come in from time to time and steal that away from me temporarily! I guess that is only human, right?
I received an email from a church friend that I read just a few minutes ago. In that email, my friend shared that my experience has made her aware of the need to take care of herself better for her children. After I read that email, I went out to feed our dogs and I found myself praying. Praying that for whatever reason I am being allowed to go through this experience... if/when I have come through it.... that I will have the courage and strength to do whatever it is that God wants me to do with this. I see so many 'things' at this moment that I feel could be the reason I am going through this. I see the opportunities that could open up for me to hopefully help others with my story if only I have the courage to do them. You see... some of these opportunities would involve things that I am very uncomfortable with doing at this point in my life! I think about how my husband is a youth minister. We have so many teenage girls that I could talk to about this storm in my life and hopefully make them see how the impact of what they do NOW... can affect their future. Is this personal experience that I have something that I am ashamed of.... yes... of course. Is it something that I am too ashamed of to talk about to others in an effort to help them maybe not make the same wrong decisions... not at all. Am I terrified of public speaking.... YES! Am I just uncomfortable talking in even a small group of people (even teenagers)... YES! Is this what God has in store for me? I don't know yet!
The reason I am even talking about this is because not only do I need your prayers for many other things... I am asking for your prayers that WHEN I come through this... that it will not be wasted! I need your prayers for strength long after the physical hurts are healed. I need prayers for clarity and that my eyes and heart will be open to whatever God wants me to do from here on out!
I hope all of that rambling somehow makes sense... at least enough that you understand my prayer request! :)
Speaking of prayer requests.... I have several specific prayer points if you would please... :)
Pray for my husband, Michael... he is going to be mommy and daddy for a while. Pray that he will remain healthy and strong physically and mentally.
Pray for my son, Carver... pray for a calm spirit... as any of you who know Carver know how wild he can be! While that is all fun and great normally... it would be awesome if he would be a little less rambunctious until I get home so it would help his dad out! :) The energy that boy has can wear you out in an hour!
Pray also for Carver that he will remain healthy and strong during all of this! As a mom, of course, I am worried that everyone is going to be so preoccupied with taking care of me that an illness in Carver could go unnoticed longer than it normally would be.
Pray for my parents... they are strong but I am their little girl! I am the baby and the only girl so my brothers like to say that I am spoiled... they don't know what they are talking about! :)
Pray for the rest of my family that they will remain strong and full of faith that everything is going to be okay! We are going to be depending on a lot of our family to help us out for the next little while. They all have their own lives, etc.... I hate to think about them getting worn down.
Pray for the doctors and nurses who are going to be taking care of me!
Praise God for the doctors and nurses who are going to be taking care of me!
Praise God for my doctor... Dr. Link... who has already taken care of me by listening to God and catching this!
Pray for strength for me and a quick recovery!
Pray that the doctors are able to get out all of the cancer and that the tests results will show that they did.
Pray that the initial tests were correct and the cancer has not spread!
And again... pray that this... whatever the outcome... will not be wasted!
Did you get all of that? ha.... I don't ask much, huh? :)
I am sure I forgot something that I will think of later so... you may hear from me again! If not.... I LOVE YOU ALL! I am soooo blessed to know you all and to have your love and to have you guys praying for me and my family! I wish I could hug and kiss you all!!
My surgery is at 8am CST on Monday the 30th! My husband, Michael, has started a blog and I am sure he will keep it updated if you want to check in on me! I know you do because you love me! I love you too! :)
His blog is michaeleubanks.blogspot.com !! Talk to you guys soon! :)